To be fair it’s a minefield, and there’s a myriad of ways it can go wrong: table by the toilets? credit card declined? judged by the waiter? Admittedly, I did order the lobster roll and rib eye steak followed by the chocolate cake but, honestly (he actually said “how very decadent, sir” with a severely-raised eyebrow, but we all know what he meant…)
And, god help the nerves if it’s a first date…
…you’ve seen the TV show, you know the drill, two hapless lovers brought together in a stressy environment, what could possibly go wrong? For starters the conversation gets stilted and awkward (sometimes its pillow-over-the-face-I-can’t-look kind-of-awkward) but the situation can quickly escalate. I once ended up with steak on my lap, that’s next-level awkward.
You see, when the loved one entrusts you with feeding them there’s an element of pressure. And let us not forget, you won’t be dining alone. Oh lord no, your loved ones colleagues and friends and family (and possibly Instagram followers) will be there too, metaphorically-speaking of course. Unless things get really bad, then they’ll be on the phone, in the loos. Questions will be asked, people will be informed and judgments will be made. That’s life.
So for all those that have suffered a bad date, and when travel returns to normal, here’s a restaurant recommendation for you. It’s pretty much nailed on to impress.
For starters, it’s really only accessible by boat. Imagine the two of you sitting on deck, drinks in hand, sun-kissed faces, with a faint breeze caressing the hair. What’s more romantic than that? Oh yes, a hike across the mountains instead…
…as the boat enters the bay [I see we agree on the mode of transportation], you enter another world, a place that time forgot. Happy Italian families play in the sea; there’s a backdrop of pine forests, craggy mountains and an ancient Abbey. It’s like something out of a Fellini movie. As you disembark, the nose detects the faintest whiff of freshly grilling fish as you climb the steps to the most memorable meal of your life. So, sit back with your loved one and eat the Scampi e Gamberoni (highly-recommended), drink the wine (organic sauvignon naturally, pairs well with crustaceans), savour the atmosphere and think smug thoughts about being judged.
località S.Fruttuoso, 16032 Camogli GE, Italy